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Tue, Mar. 23rd, 2004, 05:48 pm
Trust

While talking to ristin on the phone last night, I got an idea for an essay I'd like to do on LiveJournal, plus it helps me keep up my quota.

Ristin and I have a safe sex methodology based on trust. We each got blood tests to make sure we were free of STDs and we trust each other to be faithful. The good thing about being gay is that this eliminates the need for condoms because we don't have to worry about getting pregnant (though we can certainly have a lot of fun trying!). I am very comfortable with this form of safe sex because even though he's thousands of kilometres away I trust him absolutely. I suppose this level of faith in your partner comes with the territory when you're in love.

(None of this means I don't believe in the use of condoms if you're not fortunate enough to be in my situation, of course.)

Tue, Mar. 23rd, 2004 02:33 am (UTC)
whitetail

I was absolutely faithful to my mate for 9 years. In recent months, tho, a new friend came into my life, and I fell totally in love with him. I couldn't help my feelings, and I tried to remain true, but eventually I gave in to my desires, and my bond of exclusivity was broken. As much as I knew it would break his heart, I had to be honest with my mate concerning my infidelities. I wouldn't risk his health for anything. While I am certain I didn't catch any bugs from my new friend, I refuse to be intimate with my mate again until I am screened for every STD in the book. That's the least penance I should be expected to pay. I'm just thankful he didn't dump me for my unfaithfulness. He knows, tho, that it wasn't just something I did for the sake of sex - I did what I did out of genuine love. And he also knows I won't do it again.

Tue, Mar. 23rd, 2004 03:31 am (UTC)
marko_the_rat

Wow. Thanks for sharing, and also for caring enough about your partner that you admitted the truth to him. I think that's what counts the most.

Tue, Mar. 23rd, 2004 04:35 am (UTC)
darth_phylos

You do use Condoms at all times, anyway, I trust?
(Deleted comment)

Tue, Mar. 23rd, 2004 06:01 am (UTC)
darth_phylos

Because it is safer that way?

I have no STDs, but I always wear a condom...

Unless I am sleping with that girl, and we have had safe sex 99% of the time...

Tue, Mar. 23rd, 2004 11:52 am (UTC)
berries_n_cream

Um...they are both disease free, and both GUYS. Why in the world would they need a condom for? I see no reason. =)

Tue, Mar. 23rd, 2004 08:29 pm (UTC)
darth_phylos

Not to be a jinx, but it is better to be safe than sorry...

Tue, Mar. 23rd, 2004 09:13 pm (UTC)
berries_n_cream

Theres no reason for them to wear a condom. They have NO dieases. They are perfectly clean! Its not like they are shareing themselves around. Then, yes, I would say wear a condom. But if its just them togther, and they have been checked and thoroughly tested by a doctor and found to be perfectly clean, then they dont need one.

My husband and I dont use condoms. I have never once ended up pregnant, we are each others only partners, and we are both 100% free of STD's and anything else. =)

Wed, Mar. 24th, 2004 02:08 am (UTC)
marko_the_rat

Sorry, Darth, but I'm with the lovely Berries 'n' Cream on this one. It is as she describes. I feel perfectly comfortable with my choice. We've both been tested quite thoroughly.

I really wasn't expecting such a big response, guys. That was just sweet and fluffy lj filler to me.

Tue, Mar. 23rd, 2004 05:17 am (UTC)
juzbunny

I think I need to stop friending you now. Not because of any fault of yours. I just now know too much bout Ristin and you to be good for me, so, bye!
(Deleted comment)

Tue, Mar. 23rd, 2004 05:42 am (UTC)
juzbunny

Well, yeah, I'm a little crippled, which is none of your fault. I guess at some level I still want that intimacy, and that's something you and Marko are sharing, so yeah, it's real.

I remember how you feel too well.

Tue, Mar. 23rd, 2004 01:05 pm (UTC)
marko_the_rat

I'm sorry you feel that way, Juz. Although it's no defence, I never meant to hurt you or anyone else. I'd lived for so many years without love so I know what it's like. I'm not trying to rub anyone's noses in it. I'm just so full of happiness for the wonderful thing I've found that I want to share that feeling. It's my fondest wish that you and Ristin can end up being good friends. It wasn't easy and it took a long time, but I got there with my first boyfriend.

And to the rest of you, thank you for your kind words. Although I don't show it, I'm sensitive enough that any hateful response would be more hurtful than you would think. If I spoke too frankly, I'm sorry. What I'm trying to write about are the mechanics of love, rather than the sometimes distasteful mechanics of coitus.

Tue, Mar. 23rd, 2004 03:55 pm (UTC)
juzbunny

You guys are fine. But I remember how Ristin and I used to do it, and its too fresh. He has a lovely body and a lovely heart. So, stuff that is a little tmi for others, is too much of a strong trigger for me.

Love and Hugs,
Juz
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)

Tue, Mar. 23rd, 2004 05:57 am (UTC)
whitetail

As long as you're totally honest with each other, that's what counts. If there are any outside contacts, tho, neither of you should conceal it from the other. If what you share is true love, understanding will overcome all. I never would have become intimate with my new friend if there was any doubt about his safety. Still, just the fact that I did succumb to my desires was enough for me to quarantine myself voluntarily from my mate. I would rather die than subject him to any harm whatsoever...

Tue, Mar. 23rd, 2004 01:08 pm (UTC)
marko_the_rat

Absolutely! More important than the monogamy is trusting your partner to admit any infidelity. That's what I value from Ristin more than anything. Thank you, Rabscuddle. *hug*
(Deleted comment)

Tue, Mar. 23rd, 2004 10:27 am (UTC)
quentincoyote


^.^ :)

Tue, Mar. 23rd, 2004 09:33 pm (UTC)
ozkangaroo

sweet ^_^,
you both been tested right?,
Cos lets face it, you havn't just been with each other in the past,
beleive me i should know *giggles*
i havn't been tested in a while, neither has tzup.

I would just becarfull tis all,

I do nothing that lets me get std's, i'm at risk yes but becuase of my actions during *cough* i am only subseptable to low risk std's.

Good luck guys ^_^,

Sorry to hear about the whole Juz from the freinds list thing,
but i can kinda see point as to why, would be a lil weird to read lol.

*snugs ya both*
(Deleted comment)

Wed, Mar. 24th, 2004 04:07 am (UTC)
pearl

It's good you're being practical and doing all the right things. :)
It can be annoying having to pee into a jar, get blood taken, get swabbed (can guys get that done? if so, what would be swabbed?) but in the end it's worth it.