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Tue, Oct. 26th, 2004, 05:20 pm
Drug testing in sports

I read this article in The Australian and it amused me no end:
INTERPOL had informed the World Anti-Doping Agency that trafficking in
steroids across Europe was now more profitable than dealing in
recreational drugs, the Australian lawyer who heads the body said in
Sydney yesterday.
Displaying a bladder-and-tube device the agency suspects some athletes
at the Athens Olympics used to give bogus urine samples, David Howman
said there appeared to be no swift end to the battle against sporting
cheats.
Mr Howman said the urine-filled bulb of the device was inserted in the
anus and the tube, which had a pressure-sensitive on-off valve, was run
under the athlete's penis so a genuine-looking sample could be given to
watching drug testers.
The image of athletes pushing a bulb filled with urine into their anus had me squirming in my seat. Also: What do you do if (like me) you can't "go" when someone's watching? But it gets better:
He said it was an advance on the artificial rubber penises, available in
eight skin shades, which would-be cheaters had previously used.
Guffaw! We need ristin on the job to stamp out this blatant cheating!

Tue, Oct. 26th, 2004 01:08 am (UTC)
bigkidsid

>watching drug testers

Wonder how close they get when they're watching! certainly be an "interesting" job... ;)

Tue, Oct. 26th, 2004 02:11 am (UTC)
arakinuk

> it was an advance on the artificial rubber penises, available in
eight skin shades, which would-be cheaters had previously used.


hmmm....I'd love to have seen the face on the drug-tester who had his subject drop his pants to display two penises :P

Or better - buy the range create your own work of groinal art - the flesh-rainbow cthullu-octopus monster :D
(that or try for a role in a live-action version of Urotsukodoji)
(Deleted comment)

Wed, Oct. 27th, 2004 04:29 am (UTC)
marko_the_rat

With your chemistry background, you can cut short this reign of evil.