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Thu, Mar. 11th, 2004, 05:24 pm
The gods abandoned

I feel as if my life had just been cruising along since I met ristin, that the gods themselves had come to our aid and were ensuring that the universe would fall into place around us. (I don't want to engage in a theological debate--the gods that figure so prominently in this post are all metaphorical. I've already outed myself as an agnostic.)

But something happened to shake my confidence in those gods. My friend in the Netherlands, stealthygriffin, was diagnosed with kidney failure. He's not going to die in the immediate future; he estimates he has 20 to 40 years before he'll need a transplant or dialysis if he eats well and takes care of himself. And I think the Netherlands is one of those civilised countries where your right to life is not determined by your ability to pay. But to hear that a friend so close has a terminal disease came as a blow to the faith I had previously placed in my gods. You can imagine what it was like for him, and I hope you join me in praying that by then, technology will have progressed to where he can have a healthy set of kidneys cloned from his cells.

My griffin friend can say more about what ails him, but I wanted to explain why he's important to me, even if sometimes our relationship has been a little strained. To stretch an unpleasant analogy too far, if I am the mother of Roophilia, then Stealth was its midwife. I've since learned that my site is unique, and it would not be what it is if not for Stealth's enthusiasm early in its inception. It was he (and the sudden jump in hits which came at the same time) that gave me the motivation to spend money on a better camera and devote the time and energy I did to create my personal celebration of the kangaroo form. Thank you, Stealth. Get well soon, okay?

My gods have abandoned me, and I them. I now realise it's up to Ristin and I to make the life we plan together. My love for him is stronger than ever, but I don't want to see old friends fall by the wayside.

Thu, Mar. 11th, 2004 11:34 am (UTC)

Thank you for your kind words Marko.
As to explain the kidney failure, here goes.

Its some kind of blister on your kidney, though a few make no difference but the more on it make your kidney function less and less.
When both work in a total of below 50% you are getting in trouble. if unattended you get far quicker ill in a more rapid way since your body cant get rid of all the "toxics" in your blood. so then in fact your poisoning yourself to death.

That’s why you have to go on a dialyse machine to clean your blood by using a artificial kidney. That kidney is made of plastic with very fine wires in between it. those wires have such small holes in it that all the toxics can go out but too small for blood to go though. amazing huh?

That artificial kidney has a constant water flow over the fine wires, not only to purge the bad stuff from your blood but also to warm it up again.
The machine “sucks” out your blood and passes through a pump that is just like a second heart, then it goes to the artificial kidney and finally a last air filter so that no air can get in your veins and no blood clogs either, witch would be fatal if they would.

As for my situation, I’m still unsure as to how far it is, thing is, so much is unsure it could be 10 years, 20 or 40, we have no idea, BUT ... there may be a medicine that slows down the failure. So soon I find out how bad it is and jump in those medicine as soon as possible, I don’t really want to get on that machine so soon. Nor a transplant since you always have the point of that that transplant may be rejected by your body and you need to swallow medicine to suppress your immume system so it wont kick out that kidney.

So with all this setback in my life, to sum up quickly, lost my dad at 6, granddads few years after, money problems while growing up, meanwhile moved homes cause of it, and this family illness added to it (mum, aunt and all have it too) .. I still keep fighting for the future.
So please to all of you, when something bad happens, how bad it may seem. Please,
Please NEVER ever give up and stop .. please listen and keep on going.
I have a strong believe in this;

You go when its your time to go, and not sooner.

And Marko, the gods may seem to sometimes be not there, maybe they aren’t but remember this, there is likely always someone watching over you.
It be relative, or animal but there always is someone watching over you, protecting you where they can.

(take a look at those people that survived the most unlikeliest situations like a stone avalanche where one woman came out of it with just a few scratches while her car was trashed)

Thu, Mar. 11th, 2004 12:59 pm (UTC)

Wanted to add to my last comment,
I meant the guardians as in passed away ones whom you loved, witch can be a relative or a pet.

And in your case Marko, you have both that, one you may not be able to see but also as important, one you can, and one you can hold.
Those should give you even more strength.

I’m not the griffin that should say to you all what you should or shouldn’t do but when you do it, go for it and do it right, when you fail, don’t give up hope and try again till you succeed. Just don’t give up, no matter how bad things may seem.

Fri, Mar. 12th, 2004 02:30 pm (UTC)

Well now that's interesting. I had no idea you were the guy behind roophilia. In that case I just want to say thank you for what you've done for all us kangaroo fans out here.

Keep your chin up, things will be okay.

Sat, Mar. 13th, 2004 05:19 am (UTC)

I know the pain, two weeks ago an online friend of mine that I have known for years recently died of a heart and lung infection.

The circle of friend in which he was a part of (some 40+ in all) was heavily hit.

So even though I do not know the person I wish stealthygriffin a speedy recovery